A few days before New Years,  I broke my collar bone skateboarding to yoga.  How does one do that you may ask? Well, I was simply going too fast down a hill and tried to jump off, and instead of landing on my own 2 feet, my collar bone ate the pavement and knocked the wind out of me.   Funny enough, I happened to fall right in front of the fire department where about 6 helpful paramedics gave me the news of my newly broken collar bone.

The first thing that rushed through my mind was my yoga practice. my teaching. What would happen. What would I do?!?

3 weeks later, still in a sling, a brace, and pain, with surgery still an option-I can confidently tell you that while I rather not have had this happen, it has been a gift. A true gift of time, perspective and an opportunity to ground. To ground here in LA and experience the magic of the community, love and support that I have been blessed with out here.

When it first happened, I felt truly challenged. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually and above all physically.  I attribute the space I am in 3 weeks later to the support and ever flowing love of  family, friends and community who assured me to enjoy the journey as its going to reward me in amazing ways not yet discovered.  I was reminded that everything will unfold for my highest good and to just trust and keep the faith.

And boy has it been exactly that, an opportunity for me to step into my spiritual practice. A chance for me to truly practice what I preach. To trust and feel God holding me and supporting me.  A few weeks prior, I had put it out there that I wanted to do another teacher training and immerse my mind into study.  Be careful what you ask for right? Or, just be more specific next time! We all know how that one goes!

I know this to be true, that I have been gifted the most priceless teacher training opportunity thus far.  I have been given the opportunity  to dive into what yoga means  to me off my mat.  I get to face what my body and yoga represents to me without being able to practice asana. What would yoga mean to you if you couldnt practice physically?

I have been gifted the opportunity to step into the role as my own healer, and trust the amazing power that my body and positive mind has to heal.

For those who know me well, I am seen as a bird that loves to fly around.  So now being a wounded bird, I have been provided the opportunity to quiet down, listen, and experience the magic in my own backyard.

~~~~

A sheer rush of gratitufe fills my spirit.  floods tears to my eyes. flashes of people.warm embraces. healing words-love vibrates.

Community. suppport holding my hand through the dark. Light is here. It never goes. Just open your heart and let it flow. Flow with the ups flow through the downs. embrace these moments for in God they are found.

This is a gift of time and perspective.

Refletion

Healing.

Time is quiet

I dive inside. Taking note of my breathe. Im grateful to be alive.

~~~~

So next time you are challenged, and faced with something painful…try and keep in mind that it may just be a Gift.

<3

Inspired by http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/stacey_kramer_the_best_gift_i_ever_survived.html

~Timing is everything~Trust the process~Shift happens~This too shall pass~Breathe~Have Faith in yourself~Have Faith in God~Believe when no one else around you does~ Cry~Laugh~Expand your horizons~Write~Grow~Plant seeds for the future~ Let go of the past~ Be Present~ Own your uniqueness~ Dance~Be here~Create~Stay grounded in your dreams ~Ask for help~ Listen with open eyes~Find the inner Freedom to Fly~Find the courage to stay grounded. Give love. A whole lot of it. To Yourself. To Others. To the People. To the animals. To the Planet. To God.~

After traveling for a month in my homeland, I have found it beautifully challenging to decompress and reintegrate back  to the intense magic that is Los Angeles.  What do you do when the trip you have been planning your whole life-comes and goes in what feels like a blink of an eye? What’s next? How do you continue your day to day life when your heart is in many places? These are questions that are constantly running through my head.  I find myself unrolling my mat, and stepping into a place- a body- a mind where I do not want to be.   I am not present.  I am not present with my breathe or my body because my mind is running around in circles.  I guess that is the challenge for a modern day seeker- to find the balance between remaining present and searching for more.  Awareness is the first step right? So when my mind goes on a little skip, hop and jump-all I can do is focus on breathe, and count my blessings. For gratitude and my breathe bring me back to this present moment.  And this present moment is pretty darn fantastic.  I remind myself that I am surrounded by love, community, and warmth everywhere I go.  I remind myself that it is ok to be confused, and to not have all the Answers!

~I remind myself that Timing is everything. I Trust the process. I know that Shift happens. I believe This too shall pass. I Breathe and Have Faith in myself. I Have Faith in God. I Believe when no one else around me does. I Cry a lot. I  Laugh even more. I Expand my horizons. I Write and Grow as I Plant seeds for the future. I  try to Let go of the past~ I am Present~ I Own my uniqueness. I am here. I am grounded in my dreams.I dance and create. I Ask for help. I Listen with open eyes. I Find my inner Freedom to Fly. I have the courage to stay grounded. I Give love. A whole lot of it. To Myself. To Others. To the People. To the animals. To the Planet. To God.~

With the Winter Solstice, Lunar Eclipse and the full moon all in conjunction, I am allowing myself the space to and time to ground back home. Knowing that I AM  home, and that Home is Everywhere. All the while planting seeds, and setting intentions for expansive visions and growing dreams.

What are your deep seeded dreams? Plant them now! What are you waiting for?

In love, Light, and Hummus! (oh Hummus, how I miss thee!)

When there is no where else to go, and it feels like there is no one to turn to.

The Universe puts Angels in your path.  To be the ever present reminder of all that is Love.

These Angels manifest as our chosen friends and family on the path.

Chosen friends that support us when it gets heavy, carry us when a fall is looming,  remind us when it all gets fearfully forgotten, and to inspire us when the well of faith seems to run dry. 

~As I ground back Home in LA.  I am deeply touched and grateful for the family and community that has blessed my life thus far.  The love and support. The reminders from friends. The positive encouragment.  The smiling faces and big embraces.  The Welcome Home’s.  All remind me that Home is where the heart is.  As my yogi tea told me this morning “Let your heart lead the way”.   I can’t imagine living a life any other way but from the heart. <3  Can you? ~

I look forward to seeing you on the path!

In love and light,

the “its time to work off my hummus belly and tushy” traveling, ever seeking,  mohawk puppy lovin’, yogini, and fellow friend on the Path <3

Nov 24, I visit the Kibbutz that my parents met on in 1973. I find out and meet family that I never knew I had. I visit the orange trees where my mom once stood. I close my eyes and picture her on the land. I feel her. People remeber her and tell me how we have the same eyes. I milk a cow. I catch a feather that falls from the sky. I get cow milk on my boots, and plan to never clean it off.  I close my eyes and picture us on this journey together. The journey that never ends. I know she has guided me thus far, and will continue to for the rest of my life.

What i now know,
is that
the rest of my life
will be spent
picking oranges
off the tree of life
with my mom.

Side by side.
She is me
I am her.
Our hearts are one.

She is alive inside of me.

“When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.” And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

~Kahil Gibran

If I could offer any small humbling words of advice, it would go something like this:  Invision your life.  Put out there exactly what you want to create. Ask the universe to create all your dreams.  Look for the signs as they unfold all around you.  Breathe and trust in the moments where nothing makes sense, all the while knowing that you are being Held and Supported by the Universe.  Dream big. Bigger. Even bigger.  And continue to expand on the visions you that  WILL create for yourself.  Magic is all around you.  As long as you stay open in your heart and your mind, magic will continue to bless your life. And once this magic blesses your life, it is now your opportunity to spread it all around you.  Infect people with your magic, love and beauty.  Share with people when dreams manifest, for it will inspire them to dream big too. 

As I sit in a Tel Aviv Cafe, after my first Yoga Class at EllaYoga, I am experiencing the overwhelming beauty of this exciting yet often challenging  rollercoaster that is called Life. And as magic and dreams continue to manifest in my life and touch my heart, I give thanks to the Source of it all. And I share with you, only for the sole purpose of sparking a flame-even be it little-to dream big and create the life you have always imagined! 

As always, with lots of Love, Light, and a Hummus Belly

<3

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours – it is an amazing journey – and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.”~ Bob Moawab

Shabbat Shalom!

The spirit of this land

Touches my soul and vibrates through my body

I feel home.

As I allow my bare feet to soak up the earth

That carries so much history, struggle, celebration and pain

History that I know all too well.

Yet couldn’t even compare.

I am home.  I am home in my heart.

As I fall more in love with this land, I fall more in love with myself, and I feel closer to God.

I close my eyes, and I feel my mom.

Knowing she felt the same, as she too ran her barefoot toes through this holy earth.

I feel her in Tzfat, as I find a quite place to sit

 I overlook the breathtaking views, I feel her sitting right next to me.

Holding my hand.

We continue on. Walking hand in hand, as we bare our feet and our souls in our new Home.

Highlights so far: Hiking. Dancing. Laughing like a kid.  Exploring and learning about our Home through the eyes of six brave and amazing young Israeli Soldiers. Sun Salutations at the Western Wall. Teaching yoga to 2 birthright groups while overlooking the expansive Jerusalem skyline. Tzfat. 230 am wake up call to hike up Masada for sunrise. Camping in the Negev underneath the million dollar skylight. Floating in the dead Sea, Opening my eyes to my past through visiting the Holocaust Museum, and Mt. Herzel. Camel rides. Bedouin feast. oh and Hummus! and Falafells Galore!! 

 Put 40 amazing beings on a bus-picked to live together for 10 days and explore our Homeland, and guess what happens…MAGIC!

I Have a full heart and a full belly (some may say I have a hummus baby growing inside of me).

Tomorrow starts the beginning of the second phase of my journey. New friends and new experiences to come,  that I fully embrace!

Until next time,

Love, Light, and Falafells!

Let your mind start a journey through a strange new world
Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before
Let your soul take you to where you long to be
Close your eyes let you spirit start to soar
And you’ll live as you’ve never lived before

~Erich Fromm 

October 29th 1995, my mother, Nicole Arlene, chose to take her own life. At the vulnerably young age of nine, I lost my mother. I found her in the dark basement of my childhood home in Upstate, NY. I can say that my life both ended and began in that single day. Childhood memories were erased only to be replaced by a vast empty void that was created in my heart. A void that is still present today; and may never fully go away. However, these days the void has been filling up and overflowing with love, faith, hope, joy, and above all God.

If using the term god offends you, stop reading now. For my relationship with the Universe, God, Spirit, Hashem, and or whatever other label-is the thread to my story. For all the ups and downs, highs and lows, gifts and rewards, God has been my source and my support through out it all. Now I am getting a little a head of myself. I haven’t always felt a deep sense of relationship with Spirit. I came from a place where God abandons and where there is a lack of. A place where God took my mom from me at age nine, and took my brothers legs away from him. So let’s put it this way, my relationship with God was somewhat non-existent. It has taken some real deep committed “work,” awareness and growth to re-open my channel with Spirit.  It is a beautiful, often challenging, yet deeply rewarding practice that I GET to work on everday.

As I write this now, sitting in deep reflection, I now know why I felt pulled to move to LA over a year ago. I was guided to LA to discover my spiritual practice on the yoga mat and more importantly, off. And in finding and re-discovering my spiritual practice, I have learned how to dance in the dark more gracefully. I can hold all my pain, and tragic wounds in one hand; and all my light, zest for life, and love in the other. I hold out both my hands as I greet the world, no longer trying to mask the dark with the light. I chose to celebrate life. I look for signs for they are all around me. (They are around you too, just open your eyes! And look!) I chose to dance in the face of pain. I dance in the face of beauty. I dance for all those that cant. And I dance for my mom, as I get to live the life she never had the opportunity to.  And I trust in the process, even when nothing makes sense.  For it’s in reading between the lines where the story unfolds. And its when the heart is broken, that the greatest love stories are told.

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October 29 2010, my journey led me to Mt Eden cemetary in Westchester, NY. Rain trickled down, as I visited my moms grave. Bright fall leaves blowing in the wind, ever reminding me of the sacred flow of breath and life. The cold, looming winter breeze chilled my body. Then Warmth entered my heart as the Shabbat candles were lit on my mom’s 15th anniversary; keeping her light and spirit forever alive.

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My favorite picture of my mom, is of her standing on a ladder picking an orange out of a tree. This picture was taken in Israel at Beerot Itzchak in 1973; the kibbutz where she met my father. It has been my deepest dream to travel to Israel and visit that kibbutz. To feel her presence in the land, the air, in the people, and in that orange tree.

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Tomorrow, Nov 1, a Dream Manifests. I board a flight to Israel. I am embarking on a journey home; to connect with my roots, my mom, myself, and God. I will visit kibbutz Beerot Itzchak, and gift yoga to the women of the kibbutz in Nicole Arlene’s loving memory. And maybe, just maybe, it will be under that orange tree!
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I thank you all, with all my heart and soul for supporting, challenging, and most of all loving me through this amazing journey. I carry all of you in my hearts.
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Stay tuned for the upcoming adventures of a free lovin’, ecstatic dancin’, and peanut butter lovin’ yogini traveling through Israel with an open, ever healing and expanding heart!

Well here goes world. I am going to start blogging in the next few weeks about my experiences in yoga, healing and my new life in LA. Thank you for supporting me and checking out my site. Have a beautiful week and come back soon!